Adam will work and sweat in church for Jesus, Adam will study to make sure he has his theological I’s dotted and T’s crossed but what Adam will NEVER do is go to the Cross.
I think many “myself being the top dog ” tend to gravitate toward’s a theology that is designed to make us feel better about ourselves and our situations and tha path we have chosen rather than be apprehended by Christ who is the Truth and the discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. Whether it is to make us feel better about our accomplishments for Christ or our own sinfulness I see this as a very real dynamic in peoples lives. We are unwilling to allow differing opinions often because it may mean a season of very negative emotions, wrestling with uncertainty and the fear that He may want to invade that space of our lives where our security actually lies.
We are to build our lives on The Rock and that Rock is a person, not a philosphy, not a theology and not another mans or denomonations idea of who He is. I am convinced that much of the Time we actually form opinions about God that are tailor made to help us avoid actually engaging Him at the deepest part of our hearts. Often times the Fight that we put up to defend our position is our attempt to aviod His cross and avoid the one who wants to shine the light of truth in our lives.
Think about these questions for a moment from different points of View. . What if He is a God of Grace and Love and it really is not about our works ? What if He is a God who will one day execute wrath ? What if it actually is His will to Heal all ? What if He actually did Kill Ananias and Sapharia ? What if Tithing is really not in the New Testament ? What if There are actually churches that do it Right ? What if God is behind the Organic Church movement ? What if I can Lose my salvation ? What if I am eternally secure ? What if He does not deal with me according to my performance ? What if He is concerned with Holiness ? What if we do have a free will ? What if He did predestine everything ?
All of these questions pose problems for different schools of thought. God wants to engage us and teach us about who He is IN TRUTH. He is not at all concerned with abiding in our theological box. He wants us to trust in and Engage Him. Our God is Perfect but our understanding of Him is not. If the end goal of my study is not meeting with the living God and letting him take me wherever he wants…guess what…He is not my Lord. In other words, if I have anything other than the Truth about God and Myself to protect then… my Life, My understanding of God and Myself will be flawed by default even with bible verses in hand.
I am learning that the pathway to healing and Life is in fact death, death to my adamic need for recognition, death to my adamic need for God to be who I want Him to be, Death to my adamic need to feel like I am accomplishing something FOR HIM rahther that simply walking with Him. Death to my adamic need to know what tomorrow is going to bring so my security can rest in my plans rahter than in His arms.
At times I have had my theology rocked and it forces me to trust and engage God without having to have all of my questions answered. This can be a very frightening and frustrating experience because in our goal setting, self actualizing culture we want it all figured out, we are unwilling to engage him unless we know where He plans on taking us.I have had to ask myself this question ” why do I WANT to believe what I believe? ” is it because I am truly convinced it is the truth or is it because somewhere deep in my psyche there is a need to believe this because I am protecting my turf and if something contrary to what I believe is true I will be forced to ACTUALLY TRUST HIM !
